i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
