yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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