Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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