Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
