He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
