Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
