do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
