how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need to wash the frat house off of me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
