where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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