would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
