I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You made out with two different species that night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize