He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
