Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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