Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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