Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize