No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
