I just made out with a guy for $7.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
