the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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