Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
