Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
