i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
