physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
