I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
