I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
