Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
