You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
