how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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