I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
