YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I could fuck to npr.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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