My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ttyl tear gas
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
