That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
