Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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