did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
