Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
