If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
wow bdsm is so cute
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