what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize