: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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