why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
