Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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