HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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