I hope mine doesn't look like that
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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