I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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