Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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