you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
