Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
