either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
