i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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