Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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