you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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