i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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