I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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