Banned from zoo.
Again?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
