K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
50% drunk capacity currently
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
