Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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