is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
