Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
