i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Randomize
