Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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