sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize