so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
