I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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