oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
