I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
