oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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