I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
