Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
