Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
