i think i have herpe
just one?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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