remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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