I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
