People with herpes should wear stickers.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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