When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
