meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
there is glitter all over my balls
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