Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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