You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
