Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
