Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
my poor anus
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
